Thursday, August 4, 2016


Delayed post (from July 28)...
I'm in South Carolina for one of my regular visits of seeing my Mom for a few days and seeing one of my best friends (Sara) for a few days. Yesterday, I went with Sara to her church, Lake Murray Presbyterian, where she was to practice her organ music for a funeral. I've come here once or twice year for something like twelve years, always listening to organ practice, admiring the grounds, and singing in the choir on the Sundays after Christmas. It is a very welcoming church. Sara's last Sunday as organist here is August 7th. 
Photo by Caroline Carson
Coincidentally, MY last Sunday at St. Paul's Episcopal Church is also August 7th! 
Even more coincidence: we are having the SAME organ music played on that day, the only difference being that Sara is playing hers and I'm listening to mine! :-)
After listening a bit yesterday, I went into the fellowship hall to sit down and call the Sewanee School of Theology 
Student Account Services, and see about how to pay my bill for the semester. After numerous problems (on my end) and some excellent help from the Computer HelpDesk office, it was determined that I'm all set and my tuition is paid. That's done (YAY!) and while I'll need to understand how everything works later on, it was a great relief! Then, I logged into the self-service system that shows you classes, registration eligibility, etc. and wow! - it seems that I am already registered for Fall classes. I'll post that in a separate post soon.
I even got the orientation schedule, via the Facebook group for our class!
Photo by Caroline Carson
Then, suddenly, it hit me - I'm moving in 13 days! 
It has finally become real. 
I am entering the next step toward ordination in The Episcopal Church! I've left one job, am about to leave another, and will be living on a mountain - "The Holy Mountain". I will be a student again. 
I will see the God I know in different ways.
I will experience God in new ways.
I will need God in different ways. 
I will learn about myself and others in this amazing process!
I will all upon friends in new ways, and will be crossing the threshold into new levels of trust.
Photo by Caroline Carson
I've always been one to "Go boldly" and have enjoyed experiencing adventures and even risks when they come in the form of travels, new friends, and things like cooking. This, however, is a whole new and different kind of risky. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone - even more than usual. 
- I've watched as people passed from this life to the next...
- Hiked a glacier....
- Fallen off of horses while training them to be racehorses...
I've stood with other religious leaders on the site of a huge bombing in Pakistan, only days after the terror, hoping and praying for peace and that we would not be targets and news items. As the only American and one a very few women there, I was indeed nervous, yet mostly unafraid.
- I went for and earned a doctorate.
- I've eaten pickles (ewww), killed spiders, and given people bad news

So, why is this transition so intense? Well, I suppose it's not simply a powerful moment, an hour, an event. This is a life direction, something to a lot of ways, it's a new life, living and working consciously under a different authority. 
I'm going to stay me, but I'll be transformed
That often takes time, perseverance, dedication, and trust in the very opposite of involves trust in risk and change. It's also a different time in my life......and life is SHORT. You never know what the next second will bring!

I've taught music for about twenty years...that's not too shabby! It feels great that I've done my best and will maintain great relationships with my colleagues. I'll also keep singing regularly and directing occasionally. Still, I cannot help but pursue now what I have felt and do feel called to do in the church. It is high time to live into this journey!
Photo by Caroline Carson
In spite of this summer's tumultuous and emotional happenings (hysterectomy, trying to pack without lifting anything (recovery restrictions!), saying goodbye, excitement about my future at Sewanee), etc., I feel at peace with it all. It feels right and good!
More soon....I've got to go pack some more! :-)
Bluebell surveys the pile of boxes!

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