My Summer 2017 - CPE and NYC

HA!...of course I forgot to share this so......my last few days in NYC were FANTABULOUS, especially my last day. I'm back in Sewanee now, have taken a personal retreat in two parts, and classes have begun - TODAY! More info on classes I'm taking at the very bottom of this post. 
Howdy y'all! :-)
Having only three days left here in NYC, I decided to put some of my thoughts of CPE and living in NYC mixed into a generic update on my summer. I've been way from home since the end of the spring semester in April and it's been pretty nonstop busy, but I do love that.

Back in the spring, I received two grants (Seminary Consultation on Mission and Episcopal Church Global Missions) to travel to the Philippines. With faculty support, I scheduled my exams early to make the trip. I'm in the process of writing about my journey and the work I did there so stay tuned to this blog (you can sign up via email on the right-hand side of the screen). I spent three weeks there and was able to visit and work with small remote villages, attend the national synod and write an ENS article about it, and learn about The Episcopal Church in The Philippines. It was FANTASTIC and I do hope to return!

Two weeks before I left though, my mother had a stroke in Charleston, SC. She was in and out of the ER for four days and it was an extremely stressful time. My brother and I worked hard to make sure she was receiving the care she needed for stroke recovery and other issues. After a month of waiting on certain documents, we finally received necessary paperwork and my brother was able to get things rolling with placing her in an assisted living facility. During my CPE (explained below) unit, I flew down from New York to clear out some of the house and move Mom’s things into storage while my brother dealt with other things on Mom’s behalf. In July, he was able to help her get to a facility in NC. She is doing extremely well in her new place and seems happy. I am also happy and grateful that she is receiving the care that she needs, has friends, and is enjoying activities there!!
In light of my Mom's health, I did discern much about whether or not I should go to the Philippines, but I had some help and advice and in the end, I decided to go. After returning, I immediately began my CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) program in New York on May 22. All Episcopal seminarians must complete a unit of CPE and it’s usually done the summer after the first year in the MDiv program. My CPE placement has been in New York at NYU Langone-Brooklyn Medical Center and I have been living in a room in East Williamsburg in Brooklyn. NYUL is a Level I trauma center and is widely known and respected for its stroke response and medical teams. Working here, I've been able to be part of rapid response teams and witness the efficient, caring, and holistic care the hospital provides. I've gotten to know patients and their families, some staff, and some docs. I've listened, prayed with and for, distributed communion, sat in silence, cried with, laughed with, been at bedsides where last breaths were taken, been at cribs where new babies cooed, and been there as fiances screamed at the sudden loss of their beloved. My CPE program consisted of 300 hours of volunteer chaplaincy work and 100 hours of class – not to mention the books, presentations, and papers! I was placed in the stroke/neurological wing and that was very interesting, but tough. The summer has been challenging, emotional, intense, filled with holy moments, and I have learned so so sooooo much. Many say that CPE is transformative and indeed it has been. Knowing that most of us had similar experiences is also an amazing part of the communal nature of the journey to priesthood in The Episcopal Church (and other denominations). I'm grateful that we can share threads of these deep experiences, similar challenges, and mutual growth in self-awareness and pastoral identity with each other and with our future congregations.

I finished both the class and volunteer hours as of August 1st, but stayed a little on as an NYUL chaplain for a bit. I love the work and I love living up here so I was excited to stay on! 

Some of the things I have loved while working at NYUL:
- Meeting patients from around the world and being a chaplain to them
- Feeling more affirmed in my pastoral identity
- Learning tools for interacting with people when they are in distress and/or grieving
- Establishing personal learning goals for working with people in ministry
- Learning more about interreligious chaplaincy as it pertains to healing
- Developing better self-awareness on many, MANY levels

- Being ok with silence in togetherness with patients
- Being part of the RRT - (rapid response team) and what helps make NYUL known for a center that provides holistic healing
- Learning from my CPE colleagues, my supervisors, patients, and hospital staff
- Being on-call in evening shifts...I found that I liked this very much.

Some of the things I have loved about living in New York are:
- Not having a car

- Iced coffee. I always disliked iced coffee until, quite suddenly, this summer, I began to love it and have become rather used to having it often!
- Student tickets to museums and some Broadway shows
- Cafes and shops on almost every corner
- Attending St. Mary the Virgin Church. It became apparent that many people didn't understand why I attended the same church each Sunday. I've been coming to NYC fairly often since 1989 so have attended many of the ones they recommended and after a whole year of attending a different church almost every Sunday, I REALLY felt like attending the same church all summer long and it was worth it. Lovely church, excellent rector (Stephen Gerth) and music (David Hurd, director). "Smokey Mary's" www.stmvirgin.org
- Many parks and quiet spots can be found...one simply has to look
- Seeing friends I know from New Orleans and New York
- The pizza (of course!)
- Having work here and feeling like I'm part of things and have a non-touristy purpose
- The diversity and hearing different languages all around me
- The many flowers I've found on my walks
- People don't look down upon you for using social media here
- People DO NOT care what you look like
- Free lunches for volunteers at the hospital. These have enabled me to save money all summer long and see shows and go to museums!
- There are beaches here...I had forgotten that!

Some things I don't like:
- It's ridiculously expensive
- Summer is HOT and I say that having lived in NOLA, Columbia, SC, and Atlanta, GA

It's MISERABLE though, b/c it seems as if few places have adequate air conditioning. While most subway trains are cool inside, the standing platforms where you wait are like OVENS. I am not exaggerating one bit
- Crazy people on the subway who ruin perfectly good rides
- Those times when well-meaning people have lists of things they think you should do in NYC, but you either can't or have differing tastes and motives
- Climbing all the steps....there are so many....tooooooo many

- Daily motion sickness riding the trains. Mine has always been pretty bad. I can handle most short train rides, though I sometimes feel a bit nauseous and exit with a really bad headache. I was glad for the 10-12 minute walk from the subway station to the hospital so that I could feel better each day before starting work
                     
I am very grateful to my host, an experienced staff NYUL chaplain. She let me afford living in her place this summer AND she let me bring my dear sweet Bluebell kitty up with me! She has two sweet kitties and everyone gets along :-)

When I return to Sewanee, I will do some much-needed apartment cleaning, finish getting books for the semester, have a couple of meetings, hopefully view the solar eclipse (it had better not be cloudy!), and more. One thing I am especially grateful for is that I have planned a personal retreat during the week before classes begin. YIPPEE! I’ll get to have an actual peaceful much-needed break, thanks to some very caring friends. 
We have a Quiet Day on Monday, August 28 and classes begin on Tuesday, August 29.
I'm taking the following classes:
- Pastoral Theology I
- Systematic Theology I
- A course on C.S. Lewis
- A ministry course called Transforming Congregations
- Foundations in Preaching and the preaching lab that goes with it
- I am attempting to take Arabic lessons this year, but not for credit
I'm very excited and have happy butterflies about returning and this second year!
                     
               

Summer 2017 update for St. Paul's

Dear St. Paul’s Family,

It’s time for an update from your Sewanee seminarian! First, I’d like to thank you for keeping me in your prayers and for your support of all that I am doing and learning. Much has gone on since I last saw you in December and wrote to you in the spring. First, I received two grants (Seminary Consultation on Mission and Episcopal Church Global Missions) to travel to the Philippines. With faculty support, I scheduled my exams early to make the trip. I am in the process of writing about my journey and the work I did there so stay tuned to this blog (you can sign up via email on the right-hand side of the screen). I spent three weeks there and was able to visit and work with small remote villages, attend the national synod and write an ENS article about it, and learn about The Episcopal Church in The Philippines. 

Two weeks before I left though, my mother had a stroke in Charleston, SC. She was in and out of the ER for four days and it was an extremely stressful time. My brother and I worked hard to make sure she was receiving the care she needed for progressive dementia and stroke recovery. After a month of waiting on certain documents, we finally received paperwork that was necessary to establish power of attorney and were able to get things rolling with placing her in an assisted living facility. I flew down from New York to clean out the house and move Mom’s things into storage while my brother dealt with selling the house on Mom’s behalf. In July, he was able to do that and Mom is now in a facility in Durham, NC, near my brother. She is doing extremely well in her new place and seems happy. I am happy and grateful that she is receiving the care that she needs!!!!
I discerned much about whether or not I should go to the Philippines, but I had some help and advice and in the end, I decided to go. After I returned, I immediately began my CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) program in New York on May 22. All seminarians must complete a unit of CPE and it’s usually done the summer after the first year in the MDiv program. My CPE placement has been in New York at NYU Langone-Brooklyn Medical Center and I have been living in a room in East Williamsburg in Brooklyn. NYUL is a Level I trauma center and is widely known and respected for its stroke response and medical teams. Working here, I have been able to be part of rapid response and witness the efficient, caring, and holistic care the hospital provides. My CPE program consisted of 300 hours of volunteer chaplaincy work and 100 hours of class – not to mention the books, presentations, and papers! I was placed in the stroke/neurological wing and that was very interesting, but tough. The summer has been challenging, emotional, intense, filled with holy moments, and I have learned so so sooooo much. Many say that CPE is transformative and indeed it has been.

I finished both the class and volunteer hours this past week and was asked to stay on as an NYUL chaplain until I leave New York in ten days. I love the work and I love living up here so I was excited to stay on! Our CPE unit graduation is this coming Tuesday, May 8th - please keep all chaplain residents and interns in your prayers.

Some of the things I have loved while working at NYUL are:

- Meeting patients from around the world and being a chaplain to them

- Feeling more affirmed in my pastoral identity

- Learning tools for interacting with people when they are in distress and/or grieving

- Establishing personal learning goals for working with people in ministry

- Learning more about interreligious chaplaincy as it pertains to healing

- Developing better self-awareness on many, MANY levels

- Being part of the RRT - the rapid response team and what helps make NYUL known for a center that provides holistic healing

- Learning from my CPE colleagues, my supervisors, patients, and hospital staff

- Being on-call...I found that I liked this very much. 

- Iced coffee. I always disliked iced coffee until, quite suddenly, this summer, I began to love it and have become rather used to having it often!

 
Some of the things I have loved about living in New York are:

- Not having a car

- Student tickets to museums and some Broadway shows

- Cafes and shops on every corner

- Many parks and quiet spots can be found,one simply has to look

- Seeing friends I know from New Orleans and New York

- The pizza (of course!)

- Having work here and feeling like I'm part of things

- The diversity and hearing different languages all around me

- The many flowers I've found on my walks

- People don't look down upon you for using social media here

- People DO NOT care what you look like

- Free lunches for volunteers at the hospital. These have enabled me to save money all summer long and see shows and go to museums!

- There are beaches here!

Some things I don't like:

- It's ridiculously expensive.

- Summer is HOT and I say that having lived in NOLA, Columbia, SC, and Atlanta, GA. It's MISERABLE though, b/c few places have adequate air conditioning and while most subway trains are cool inside, the standing platforms where you wait are like OVENS. I am not exaggerating one bit.

- Crazy people on the subway who ruin perfectly good rides.

- Those times when well-meaning people have lists of things they think you should do in NYC, but you either can't or have differing tastes and motives.

- Climbing all the steps....there are so many....tooooooo many.

                       

I am very grateful to my host, an experienced staff NYUL chaplain. She let me afford living in her place this summer AND she let me bring my dear sweet Bluebell kitty up with me! She has two sweet kitties and everyone gets along :-)

 

When I return to Sewanee, I will do some much-needed apartment cleaning, finish getting books for the semester, have a couple of meetings, hopefully view the solar eclipse, and more. One thing I am especially grateful for is that friends of mine will let me use their mountain cabin for a few days during the week before classes begin so I’ll get to have an actual peaceful much-needed retreat break. We have a Quiet Day on Monday, August 28 and classes begin on Tuesday, August 29. 

I'm taking the following classes:

- Pastoral Theology I

- Systematic Theology I

- A course on C.S. Lewis

- A ministry course called Transforming Congregations

- Foundations in Preaching and the preaching lab that goes with it

I'm very excited and have happy butterflies about returning and this second year!

I will be visiting New Orleans and St. Paul’s over Labor Day weekend and attending that Sunday’s 10:15 AM service so I hope to see you all in person!

                        

                 

A Moment

I needed a moment today. A big one. So, I'm eating out for the third time since May 22. 

I spent HOURS trying to finish scheduling things and making phone calls. Yesterday, I just finished my last CPE class session so I was supposed to take today OFF and tomorrow as well. Instead, I worked on things all day....things that will make life much easier when I get back to Sewanee for a bit before classes begin. I did it though - and remotely got a great start to being back at home. So, I'm rather excited to say that not only did I finish my final CPE course yesterday, but I finished my hours on Tuesday. I decided a while back that I'd stay in NYC a week longer than graduation (August 8) for a couple of reasons. First, I want to see friends I haven't gotten a chance to see up here since I've been so busy! Secondly, I was not sure at the time whether or not I'd be finished with my hours and it was recommended to me that I get a one-way ticket and wait to decide upon the return date. 

 

                   My dinner of chicken pad Thai at Sage in Brooklyn                       

Once back at Sewanee, I'll have a couple of days to bomb the apartment to get rid of spiders etc., get the new tires I needed last October and see if my car even still runs, and join a one-day Orientation trip to Memphis with the incoming class of seminarians. I hope to then experience the solar eclipse and...AND....AAAAANNNNND.... I need a retreat. 

I really REALLY need it. It's been nonstop since spring break and much of the time super intense. SO, I planned one. I did it. I picked a tiny little town in an undisclosed location....somewhere not too far away, yet AWAY, and a place that has peace, activities, views, water, etc. I PLANNED IT! I'm so excited! It's just two days, BUT who cares, right?! I cannot wait!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we will be saved, in quietness and confidence will be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

~ Book of Common Prayer

Bay Ridge in Brooklyn at sunset, CPE summer 2017

Transcendence on a Misty Evening

As soon as I walked out of the hospital, I could feel it and so I chose to walk slowly, savoring every moment. My whole 0.7 mile walk to the subway station this evening was a mystical and transcendent thin place. It's chilly, misting droplets filling the air, and the twilight fading into the night. The softness of the air. The hum of a streetlight. The hint of the idea of an Autumn out of place. The sounds of children playing. The smells of dinners. The oddity of civic fireflies that flickered over green garbage cans and brownstones. A multitude of languages, cars whooshing by, bells on shop doors dinging the way in or the way out, music of all sorts coming from a distance down every street, the smell of fresh laundry, and an occasional breeze in the trees. I'm so grateful to have moments like this! Moments of satisfying joy, a twinge of sadness, a breath of excitement - Moments that fill me with inexplicable longing, yet fill me with this transitory life itself. I walked from the past, through the present, and touched the future tonight. Thanks be to God.

(Photo via google, but it grasps the feelings I had).

Clinical Pastoral Education in New York!

In The Episcopal Church, the rich journey to priesthood usually contains the vital, and sometimes dreaded, element of CPE. This stands for Clinical Pastoral Education and often consists of work as a chaplain at either a hospital or medical center. Many other denominations also include CPE and many place it in the summer after the first year in semniary.The hours in my program have been divided into 100 hours of class and "Didactic days" while the remaining 300 are spent being and chaplain at a hospital. The National Association of Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE) has a list of most CPE programs and presents standards for spiritual care and education for professionals and people seeking to become professionals in any faith tradition or setting. CPE is a form of theological education. While it can lead to professional chaplaincy, it is important for faith leaders to have experiential learning and actually have a chance to practice ministry. Gaining insights of self-awareness and that of others is important to both giving and receiving care.

I chose the New York Lutheran Services Alliance for my program. It's in New York and is an extremely diverse program. I'm working at New York University Langone (formerly NYU Lutheran) hospital in the Bay Ridge area of Brooklyn, NY.  My classes are held on the upper west side area of Riverside at The Interchurch Center. 

I'm loving my experience, both in the program and in New York and Brooklyn. It's been valuable. I have not liked everything about it and certain things are still growing on me (verbatims, for one), but overall, I am personally finding it a pastorally-validating, mindfullness-creating, rewarding, journey-through-the-emotions type of experience. Long ago, I worked extremely hard on my boundaries between teaching and taking things home. I learned, the hard way, not to take everything with me all of the time. I did not realize how much my previous work and therapy had helped me until I began to notice other colleagues struggling with some things. Here, this time, I have not taken things home and spent time (other than prayer) on them. 

I have, in fact, managed somehow to have a bit of a life here in New York. 

   

Lucky for me, I have a support system, including my sweet Bluebell kitty and some friends in NYC. I am very fortunate that the person from whom I'm renting allowed me to bring Bluebell with me. My friends are mostly busy or on vacation outside of the area, but I have managed to see some of them for dinner, coffee, a harbour cruise (this one), or a Broadway show. I'm able to do those things because my lunches are provided at the hospital (as a volunteer) and being a VSG-er, I eat tiny meals so get plenty of mileage from the salads I get! So, I'll write some more about the CPE experience another time, but: so far, so good.

The Episcopal Church Prays for Pakistan

I am so happy and grateful that The Episcopal Church included Pakistan in their Easter Season of Prayer this week!!! I hope they do this every year with a global focus. As you can read in my previous Pakistan blog post, everyone that I met asked for prayers and good wishes for peace. I'm also excited that they used my photo and included the prayer I wrote and my reflection! For me, this makes my year! I feel like I can be useful with my travels and what I have learned. I also actually want to work in global mission and I hope to study missiology and about global mission while in seminary at Sewanee! 
I am SO EXCITED about attending seminary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may even be able to have an international C.P.E. (Clinical Pastoral Education) assignment so we'll see! If that is possible, WOW, how amazing! I am particularly interested in the following locations, some due to my own travels, and some from watching global events unfold and my heart being drawn to some situations. I am sure everything will depend on accreditation, VISAs, and fine details, but the fact that Sewanee Contextual Education / CPE is willing to even consider an international placement, well, that is a true blessing and very exciting for them (and me!)

Card drawn by Junior Church of the Diocese of Raiwind to give to our students at St. Paul's Episcopal, New Orleans (Our kids drew some friendship cards for me to take to Pakistan after the bombing.)

Here is the link to the Season of Prayer Pakistan page

Here is my Prayer for Pakistan, approved by Bishop Samuel Azariah

For the magnificent and hospitable, yet besieged country of Pakistan, we pray to you Heavenly Father. For the cities steeped in the shadows of terror, for its peaceful people living in stress and fear, ever seeking stability and freedom - we ask for tranquility. Out of the depths of religious and civic turmoil, we cry to you for reconciliation, tolerance, and stability. For the victims and families of the bombed, we seek your comfort and healing. For those deceived from childhood and led into a life filled with the false glory of a paradise gained through self-destruction, we pray for new eyes to discover the truth and a safe way out of their current lifestyle. For those with terrorist connections, we pray they may act honestly and rightly. Grant an end to violence and a return to hope. Enable those who put loving first to be strengthened and to be confident enough to continue to live their faith out loud without fear and to continue to reach out to the suffering. For negative images of Pakistan held by others to be lifted and changed, we pray. We ask these things in the name of God - who is large enough to love us all and gave his son that we might live in him. Amen.

Altar at The Cathedral of Praying Hands, Diocese of Raiwind

Here is my reflection. I am honored that they published it! Mainly, I am happy that people will know a little bit more about Pakistan, the Christians there, and relationships with the Muslim community. PEACE is what we need these days, world peace. It CAN happen. I truly believe that with all my heart. Hopefully, people will read this and maybe have something open in their minds and hearts. 

Street view Lahore, Pakistan, April 2016

Dr. Caroline Carson, Postulant from the Diocese of Louisiana, shares a reflection this week.

"One must keep living" Such simple, yet powerful words uttered from so many Christians I met in Pakistan the day after the Easter bombing in Gulshan-I-Iqbal Park in Lahore. The absence of freedom of speech, the realities of inequality, and the constant fear of violating Pakistan's "blasphemy laws” are everyday tensions. Many Christians have been killed and buildings set on fire from mob attacks because these laws are regularly misused. 20-foot walls, assault-weaponed security on every corner, and barbed wire everywhere - these all regular sights for schools, libraries, stores, hotels, etc. Then the suicide bombers are expected and bring a despair that does not cease. A new and rising trend is that children are being used as bombers: the innocent killing the innocent. Everyone, Muslim and Christian alike, must look over their shoulders and live in constant fear of Taliban attacks at any time or place. Another aspect of this terror is the profound sadness that attacks have become so commonplace. After a couple of days in the news, things tend to be forgotten. Everyone I met asked for us to pray for them and/or for the energy of peace.

While the Diocese of Peshawar is one of the most hostile anywhere, on the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan, and encompasses a region where there is barely any civil law, anyone who comes to them is a welcomed child of God. The Diocese of Raiwind in Lahore mimics this in a time where terror attacks are rising at an alarming rate. The Diocese of Raiwind provides education, health care in outlying parts of Lahore (including the malaria-endemic brick kilns areas where children as young as six and women work in the kilns to pay off family debts they know nothing about), rehabilitation programs for victims of sex trafficking, and pastoral care to thousands. The Diocese of Raiwind also continues to be extremely active in peace building and reaching out to fellow religious leaders in the city and region. They hold regular gatherings to try and determine what can concretely be done to stave off terror and oversee what can be done to help victims of bombings. They live life and faith "above ground" as Bishop Mano Rumalshah (bishop emeritus of Peshawar) says. Moderator Bishop Samuel Azariah is an amazing leader with a terrific and dedicated staff. The feeling from all of them when asked about putting their lives on the line for the diocese was that they would "rather die doing something good than to be sitting in the corner, frozen in fear."

It is of utmost importance to realize that religious leaders and practitioners of Islam are not inherently violent and all Muslims are not against Christians. They consider us brothers and sisters. There has long been an underlying current that each religion is set out to convert each other and this creates continuing suspicion. The Taliban know that if they attack Christians, the Western media will make it a huge event and they get what they want - fear and anxiety to win over stability and peace.

The links below provide information and opportunities to follow along with our brothers and sisters and to reach out and get connected and involved.

Please tell your elected officials to support peace building in South Asia and the Middle East. All world governments should stand with peacemaking, especially in areas afflicted by daily tensions and bombs.

Get Involved:

It is vital to tell your elected officials to stand for peace in Pakistan. If you live in the United States, this includes urging the President, Secretary of State, and the United States Congress to support peace building in Pakistan. If you do not live in the United States, your voice is just as important: all world governments must stand with peacemakers in Pakistan.

You can find contact information for the President, the Secretary of State, and your members of Congress below. We encourage you to call or write to express that as a person of faith, you support peace building.

The President: https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

The Secretary of State: https://register.state.gov/contactus/contactusform

United States Senate: http://www.senate.gov/senators/contact/

Your Local Representative: http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

If you would like to stay up to date on advocacy and receive resources around international and domestic issues, you can join the Episcopal Public Policy Network.

Bishop Sammy Azariah, Caroline Carson, and Bishop Mano Rumalshah

So, thank you for reading! Go and LIKE the Global Mission of The Episcopal Church Facebook page. They are doing fantastic work! I could not be more proud to be an Episcopalian!!!!!