A Collect for Coffee

A Collect for Coffee

~ Found on the coffee pot in the student commons room in Hamilton Hall at The Sewanee School of Theology with no author's credit given, therefore, Anonymous. I performed a Google search and did not find anything so, I present it here for all to read and share!

Almighty God, who in your mercy provides all things for our goodwill and maintenance, pour out your blessings upon the farmers, harvesters, distributors, roasters, and all others who participate in the manifold tasks required to provide your people with that most useful beverage, coffee, that we, your church, might continue to reap the benefits of this beverage for the glory of your kingdom and the sake of your only son, our savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Photo by Caroline Carson, Cafe du Monde, New Orleans, LA

A Cup of Sewanee

This isn't just ANY ole cup of coffee.... it's a cup of I'M GOING TO SEWANEE COFFEE!! 

Honestly, I can't believe it! I am SO EXCITED and HAPPY! It's almost surreal...it is indeed a dream and lately, I have been catching myself occasionally stopping mid-thought and finding myself grinning and pondering my new journey of postulancy with rapid heartbeats and wonder. No joke that this is a dream of mine. I fell in love with Sewanee: The University of the South in 1988 when I was a senior in Porter-Gaud High School (Charleston, SC) and when I visited, it was my first choice. I had been planning to major in music and something else, not sure what. I was even thinking about keyboard at the time, having had a tiny bit of piano training. I remember I wrote my application essay on mentorship and role models and used Angela Lansbury as my example of success complemented with living. I had been a fan of her roles in fun mysteries and also in Sweeney Todd.
Well, it was not to be yet. I received a scholarship, but it was basically book money. My parents made too much to qualify for most types of loans, yet not enough to afford expensive places such a Sewanee or Emory at the time. My brother was also still at home for a few more years and finances had always been tough. Anyway, I ended up having to go to "the dreaded state school" which, at the time, was a peer-pressured shame at the prep school I was attending. Now, I think anything goes and of COURSE I understood - even at the time - that where you attend college often doesn't matter as much as what you make of it when you're there. So, I wasn't about to go to Clemson (nope!) because I was already a USC Gamecock fan like my Dad so I chose USC. At first, I was rather disillusioned at having my dream swiped from underneath my feet and I didn't know what major to choose or how to like this school. My parents thought I should choose something where I'd be able to make a living so I liked Biology and chose that, thinking I'd become a virologist and maybe could cure the common cold. (Now, actually THAT would be insanely awesome, had it happened, but I like people WAAAAAAY more than petri dishes). After a year, I was hooked on USC and I am a HUGE Gamecock fan!  A bio-pre-med major, it took me almost three years to find my way to music and I was only able to convince myself I could do a music major because....wait for it.....

There was no required recital in the music education track.

What a cop out. Well, not really...I had so much more stage fright then than I do now - even though now I still have a TON. To think that I went from that to eventually getting a doctorate in conducting is a pretty amazing transformation. (I joyfully returned to USC after an MM at Emory!)
So, after a brief time as a French major and a Psychology major (like a month or two each), I came into music and was hooked. I still am. In fact, one of the things that "sold it" in my period of Episcopal discernment was in October 2013, I suddenly realized that I didn't have to give up being a musician. What?! YAY!

I identify with being a conductor and singer now and probably always will to some degree. 

That REALLY opened up my heart!

Now, I felt free and able to hear God's call more clearly and I am SO HAPPY now because I feel MUCH freer to move forward to where I'm being called. My vision of ministry has increased like the outward circles from something dropping in a pond, getting richer and more amazing with each layer and all the while strengthening that innermost layer. I cannot wait to take courses and learn from the faculty and my fellow classmates. 
Formation - I need it! 
Knowledge - I need it!
The beautiful mountain - I need it!
Ohhhhh and there's this: the exciting fact that I received my Sewanee housing assignment yesterday!

More anticipation!!! It's a tiny apartment on the edge of campus, but it has two windows, a nicer kitchen than I have now, and a couple of built-in drawers in the bedroom so perhaps I can sell my dresser, which would be GREAT! It is what I asked for! I can't wait to find out more about it and see exactly what it looks like but I am thrilled to know where I'll be and it makes it all the more real!

Cleaning out my UNO office is also making things super real. I have a TON of stuff, especially books and music. I'm pretty proud that I whittled down an entire 4-shelf bookshelf of choral sheet music to a 1/2 box. That's great for me, considering I have extreme sentimental value associated with 90% of everything. :-) 

I will have to ask at church if anyone has any room in a garage or attic to store some boxes of books for me, but I might be able to stack bookshelves and may be doing that in both the bedroom and the living room. Time will tell.

One thing I've learned that does make me sad is that my position of Director of Choral Activities at UNO is being adjuncted out and there is not any information as to whether or not the position itself is going away or if they will do a search (which I hope they do!), or if it will simply morph into a choral/music ed position once the new School of the Arts is on track and fully functioning with admins in place, financial development, and more faculty and staff. That could happen well and quickly....or it could drag out and maybe happen or maybe not. I must admit, it makes me sad and a little mad too. I worked HARD over the ten years I spent there to build the choirs, the job itself, the budget (I'm leaving the choral foundation account at almost $20,000 which would normally be awesome), and being active in the community so that the choirs were respected. I'm proud to say we combined with the choirs of Xavier, Loyola, Tulane, The Baptist Seminary, Dillard, the Jefferson Chorale, the NOCCA School (New Orleans Center for the Creative Arts), and more during my ten years! Still, I know that this is the way of much in academia and also with many music positions on many educational institution levels today. 
While I truly hope that the choral area will rise again and go much further, I recognize it is no longer "mine" and that is very freeing.I know I did my best and did a good job! :-)
Ten years at any place is also quite respectable!
So, all these things are on my mind this morning - mostly giddy excitement though, as I drink from my new cup of Sewanee!

Never Take Life for Granted: Tomorrow is Not a Certainty, but TODAY I Am Happy

I'm sitting here pondering life. I should be working, but I'm not. It struck me yet again this morning how every day, every moment is truly a gift. So many of us take this for granted time and time again. I've always had an acute sense of time passing and its very vastness. Even as a child, I used to sit and "be" and just listen: to the sound of the waves, to the breeze under a starry sky, to the thoughts that came and went. Even so, I catch myself "suddenly" realizing yet again how brief our time on Earth is.
Tomorrow is not a certainty. 
I try to actively engage with life and not let my frustrations or ups & downs of particular situations peel away my inner peace and / or my excitement in general. This is easy or tough, depending on the day, but I try not to take ANY moment for granted. For the past couple of years, it's been every day that I've inhaled deeply and ask God where my journey was heading. 
Prayer is a privilege.
It allows us to connect with the Divine, a greater and eternal being, outside of ourselves. For me, this is God. The Holy Spirit is the aspect of the Trinity with whom I feel that I connect most closely. I am making a wild assumption here, but I feel that might not be common and that perhaps most people who believe in a Trinity feel more closely connected with either the Father or the Son.
                        
Think of how time - and I mean - Time as in ALL Time from the existence of anything and everything and continuing into an infinite future - think of how we fit onto this linear path. 
WE ARE SO SMALL.
It is breathtaking to me.
When I consider this, I am in sheer awe and amazement at life and being a part of it. It's what helps me live in today and live in the NOW.
Tomorrow isn't given, it is a hope.
I recently became a Postulant for the priesthood in The Episcopal Church! 
I AM SO OVERWHELMINGLY EXCITED AND HAPPY about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After years of pondering this calling and either ignoring it or pushing it away in various ways, a few years of spiritual direction, a year of being an Aspirant, prayer, discernment committee meetings, more prayer, ponderings, journaling, seeking advice, and paperwork, I could not be happier about it! The past year has been very affirming for me and living into this call - out loud - has become pure joy! (It has also had moments of humor as I tell people I'm on the road to becoming "Parson Carson" :-) I am extremely grateful for those who have prayed for me and continue to do so. I'm also eternally grateful for my Bishop (Morris K. Thompson), my rector at St. Paul's Episcopal (Fr. Rob Courtney), my discernment committee, and my St. Paul's Choir. In my bishop, I find a kindred spirit, inspiration, and friend; in my rector an advocate and friend; in my friends, choir, and committee a family.

                        

It has long been my soul's hope that God could use me in ways other than through music (but still through it too!) and that it could be official and affirmed, although I do love my current career. I have no idea whether or not I will make it down this road, get into Seminary, get enough Financial Aid, or whether other factors will rise up and prove insurmountable, BUT for this time in my time:
I am happy!
I'll sign off with one of my most favorite words (with an added blessing):

My friends,

Life is short, and we do not have 

much time to gladden the hearts of

those who travel with us, so be quick to

love and make haste to be kind.

And may the blessing of the One who

... made us, and the One who loves us, and

the One who travels with us, be with

you and those you love this day and always.

AMEN.

Adapted from Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821–1881)

                               

#AdventWord #ASK - Prayers for Discernment

Today's #AdventWord is #ASK - December 9, 2015

I try to remember to ask for God's guidance along the many pathways I find in life. This past June, I found myself at Sewanee in Tennessee, walking between Stirling's Coffee House and another building. This pretty scene appeared before me and made me stop in my tracks. It hit me that we are always on a path in life, whether we know it or intend it, and whether we planned in advance for it or not. I ask God's guidance on my walk and I'm at a point now where that is a daily prayer....actually sometimes quite a few more times during some days!

                      

Yesterday, I turned in a giant application for postulancy (with supporting documents) in The Episcopal Church. Our diocesan ministry conference is in early January so I will have interviews then (with Standing Commission and Commission on Ministry) and should know more throughout the month. I feel called to walk down the path to priesthood and have been in the discernment process for the past year - and for many years if truth be told. Many turns in God's road have brought me to this place in my being and time will tell where I walk from here. I haven't written about it here, so directly, until now, but most of my friends know of my journey. I have been blessed beyond belief with God's calling and such a wonderful and uplifting discernment committee process full of growth, the support of my friends and family, amazing segue's from one thing into another that I could never have predicted, spiritual growth, my spiritual director, my vestry's nomination, and so much more.

If you're reading this, I ask you for your prayers, good wishes, and positive thoughts!

‪#‎Episcopal‬ ‪#‎Anglican‬ ‪#‎SSJE‬ ‪#‎EDOLA‬ AdventWord was created by SSJE (The Society of St. John the Evangelist) and is the Anglican Communion's Global Advent Calendar. I'm using it as a daily meditation, prayer, photo post, and a way to connect in spirit to millions during this season of light and hope. You can join me in creating your own. Just take a picture and post it with the day's AdventWord tags! Click HERE for their website and for their daily AdventWords.

#AdventWord #CARE - Sunday, December 6, 2015

Today's #AdventWord is #CARE - Sunday, December 6, 2015

Take time to care for your spirit by caring for yourself. Sometimes mountains views and coffee help! :-)

Photo taken at St. Mary's Convent & Retreat Center in Sewanee, TN. 2015 

AdventWord was created by SSJE (The Society of St. John the Evangelist) and is the Anglican Communion's Global Advent Calendar. I'm using it as a daily meditation, prayer, photo post, and a way to connect in spirit to millions during this season of light and hope. You can join me in creating your own. Just take a picture and post it with the day's AdventWord tags! Click HERE for their website and for their daily AdventWords.
#SSJE

HOORAY! It's December....oh wait...

Tired Caroline is tired.

'Tis December 1st - LET THE GAMES BEGIN! From now until some point during Christmas Day, many of us as musicians are booked every day, at least once and maybe several times for special events. When we’re not performing, we are rehearsing for all those extra holiday performances. Think also of clergy preparing multiple services, folks who work in retail, anyone who is “a public servant", basically anyone working while it's "vacation" time. There are so many people for whom I am very thankful! Everyone take care of yourselves and HANG IN THERE! 

Remember to be there for each other when the stress points of the season rise up! Thank a musician, thank a teacher, thank a Fed-Ex deliverer, thank a fireman! Prepare for late-night grading posts, even MORE coffee posts, the "I wish I had sleep" posts, and those ever-popular "laundry list of to-do" posts smile emoticon
GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY and HERE WE GO!!! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!

Impending Apocalypse Got You Down?

The World Is Ending......

Wait, what?! Again?

Not enough coffee for an afternoon of impending doom...
In case you haven't heard about this potential earth-destroying event, here is a USA Today article link to catch you up. In the past few years, we seemed to have survived several doomsdays. I was curious about how many times folks, well-meaning or not, have predicted the end of the world so I asked Siri and we found a List of Dates Predicted for Apocalyptic Events. Very interesting. Rather than fret, I decided to enjoy some memes and to make some more coffee.

Check out these #spaceLOLs :-)

An Alternate View: Orientation and Presentations, June 24 at #GC78

Hello everyone!

This morning, (the day before #GC78 officially begins), legislative committee sessions were held at 7:00 AM until 8:30. THIS "having to be awake AND functionally intelligent" thing - whoa....

Let us pray.

Let's just also say the word espresso.

I attended the committee meeting on Prayer Book & Liturgy. Here are the resolutions and amendments that committee is handling. As an alternate, my job is to step in as needed on the House of Deputies floor when one of our deputation needs a break or is sick or needs a whole day away. In addition, I studied three areas of interest:

1. Liturgy & Music

2. Mission

3. Communications & Evangelism (this is the one that led to my using some communications talents and social media to help get the word out about our diocese's experience here at General Convention.)

(media badge)

We opened the Prayer Book, Liturgy & Music Committee meeting with song (Hymn # 362 "Holy, Holy, Holy") and it was evident in verse one that few of us were "morning people", 

By the fourth verse, harmonies were fully present and it actually sounded good. This video is from verse #1. :-)
video (Won't upload from my phone, but will work on it)
Several amendments were presented, discussed, and a few passed.

After this, I headed downstairs to the House of Deputies. Excuse me, but WHAT A GIGANTIC ROOM! easily 800-900 people in here, slightly reminiscent of C-span, yet LOTS more interesting (in my opinion).

SO MANY PEOPLE! I took my place in the section for alternates and plugged in. 

The morning session was a presentation to GC from the Presiding bishop and Gay Clark Jennings (pres. of the HOD - House of Deputies). Presentations were a little bit of orientation and a little bit of procedure about what we have to work on during the convention, officially beginning tomorrow! (June 25-July 3). 

                     

I actually cannot imagine NOT being here a couple of days ahead to hear committees and hearings and to prep on matters at hand. Last night, I got to go to the airport with a friend and pick up a visitor from Korea. My friend has been here for several days and appeared already thoroughly exhausted.
It's certainly eye-opening to see the amount of work that the governing bodies must review, present, discuss, and vote upon.

After a break, an orientation to General Convention was held from 10-12. Alternates were asked to come and sit with their delegations. I found mind hard at work!

                   

                   

So began an introduction to GC followed by a "how-to" session on using the virtual binder. I can handle it. The GC could not pay for wifi for non-committee members in the legislative sessions so THAT was why I couldn't get to the resolutions and access my virtual binder this morning. I did use my phone to look up resolutions and amendments. Wifi is available in all hotels and throughout most of the Convention Center. That is a pretty amazing feat in itself so I am not complaining!

                    

After all the instructions, the parliamentarian showed us examples of secondary amendments. This got hilarious very quickly! It also included a description of what is considered to be "germane" when discussing amendments or secondary amendments. Things can indeed get bogged down when amending amendments, especially in a room of the sleep-deprived and dehydrated deputies :-)

                    

They also showed us how to use the voting devices. I'm glad they plan on reviewing it before every voting session.

                                 

At noon, I went over to the exhibits area in search of food since my breakfast was espresso and being an alternate is a hungry business!
Instead, I ended up watching a discussion by the fellows in mission, led by Canon Mark Stevenson who is the Domestic Poverty Missioner. The Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society, The Episcopal Church, featured four fellows discussing the inclusion of environmental responsibility and stewardship and care of creation in Christian formation. They also discussed issues such as homelessness and poverty, and what is being done to work towards solving these situations. As I am involved with mission work and lots of you are too, both locally and internationally, I was intensely interested in the conversation. I brought up a point about people who have been displaced and become homeless over a long decline after a natural disaster. A riveting discussion ensued. These fellows and heads of mission programming around the country are doing amazing work and from what I understand, doing it without a very big budget.

After this engaging presentation, I picked up an apple and a bagel and headed back into the HOD for a presentation by each of the four nominees for presiding bishops. 

                       

The nominees are:
The Rt. Rev. Thomas E. Breidenthal, Bishop of the Diocese of Southern Ohio
The Rt. Rev. Michael B. Curry, Bishop of the Diocese of North Carolina
The Rt. Rev. Ian T. Douglas, Bishop of the Diocese of Connecticut
The Rt. Rev. Dabney T. Smith, Bishop of the Diocese of Southwest Florida
We then listened to what the spirit was telling the church...

                             

Here is more info on the nominees
After opening videos, each gave his own personal statement to the joint session. Then, we waited a few moments and a big bowl was brought out. Inside the bowl were colorful pieces of paper with the categories pictured below. Each nominee chose a paper and called out the color and number which led to a question being read from someone on the floor. This session lasted a loooooooong time, BUT was extremely worth it with the diversity of the questions and the unique and fantastic answers from each nominee. It felt a wee bit like a game show, but I think some levity is good. Keep it light y'all.

We took another standing/stretching break and all said the Lord's Prayer Together. That was an especially moving moment. It's also what it's all about. It's about us being in community together without division even though we may have distinctions and varying opinions.
I was impressed with each candidate and his eloquence in answering each question given. All were impressive and each had his own moments of truly sharing his own style and way of speaking. If you'd like to know who I think the new PB will be, email me for my prediction or comment below!
After a few breaks and lots more questions, each nominee had two minutes to either return to a question they had been asked or to answer a question they had not been asked. Then, they each had time to give formal, final statements. The two-minute statements were a combination of thanks, gratitude, and love to the nominating committee, their families, to each other, and their dioceses. Such love! All four did well today.

When the session was over, I came back to the hotel for a little rest before this evening's legislative session from 7-8:30 PM. I am already wiped out. Not sure if I'll try to go to dinner, but since I still had delicious leftovers from last night's Beef Stroganoff (YUM), I'll eat some now to tide me over :-) I think the arid environment is also getting to me - I had a small nosebleed earlier today. I've been drinking water almost constantly, but I am simply not used to it being so dry! 

Thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned :-)

Caroline

January 2014 Visit to Barcelona, Spain

So I'm in Barcelona, Spain for the week! How in the world did that happen?

Well........
Back in the late Fall, my colleague Daniel mentioned he was going to be in Europe conducting for about a month and a half and that he might need some help. I said "say that a little louder?!" and we made it happen! I'm super excited to be here for the week helping as needed with chamber orchestra rehearsals of the Filharmonia Iberia and WOW - they are making a recording! How cool! I'm learning new repertoire as well as watching premieres of two works happen in collaboration with the orchestrator Melani Mestre. Here's a picture of the concert advertisement:

For me, I am happy to BE IN BARCELONA! I'm learning a new city, I'm getting to hang out with my dear friend Daniel and his family, and I'm not in New Orleans for the "sneauxmageddon" (dusting of snow and some ice/sleet) which closed my university and most of the city for two days!

Here is a link to my Facebook album from Barcelona (SO FAR! I will be adding many more pictures to it) https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100515250196297.1073741832.2613080&type=1&l=c3520c369f
Having attended two rehearsals 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then taken long walks around the city, I believe that tomorrow I will actually go inside the Sagrada familia and take some "real pictures" with my new camera! You know, I really should mention that this trip is very coming at an important time for me and that I'm also finding myself able to use it and the time in cafes for some deep thoughts. I'll write about those a little later on, but they involve some self study and some time with God. Maybe I should call some of the posts "Coffee Time with God" because ever since the early Fall, that's usually when I feel able to experience some deep spiritual thoughts. At any rate, I'm so glad to be back in my blogging mode after several months off.

If you're reading any of the joyful gibberish, I hope you have either a margarita (to make sense of it all) or some coffee in hand (to stay awake). :-)

What to Do When There's a Galaxy in Your Cup of Tea

So....you have a galaxy in your cup of tea?



Poor photo quality and focus due to gravitational lensing...

Stay calm, don't panic. You can get through this.

First, realize that every day we deal with matters of matter and antimatter, energy and dark energy, gigantic blobs of supercluster-filled filaments and voids. You are one of the lucky ones. Most of us don't usually think about it or come across such close and tangible evidence of other existences in places such as teacups. We leave it to the philosophers or cosmologists such as Max Tegmark (great website!) or theoretical physicists like Brian Greene (website also great!)

You have to come to terms with the fact that we could all simply exist swirling around in someone else's cup of tea. Galaxy, galaxy cluster, supercluster, filament, or whole universe!

Hypothetically, there is the possibility of existing in a multiverse - a finite or infinite set of universes, including the one we are currently experiencing. These parallel universes are also called "parallel dimensions" and "alternate universes".

If you prefer the infinite number of universes, you might eventually come across the theory that some that are phased exactly as our universe is. This goes along with the idea that our universe is not "special" or unique.

Here are some media links that Tegmark recommends that have to do with multiple universes: http://space.mit.edu/home/tegmark/popular.html

Here is a link to one of Brian Greene's terrific books: The Hidden Reality
In it, he goes through his outline of nine types of universes. Makes you think!

* Side note I cannot aVOID (haha!): One of the COOLEST things I learned last year was that our Virgo Supercluster is surrounded by three voids - the Sculptor Void, Bootes Void, and the Capricornus Void. Voids correlate to the colder temperatures in the Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) and they have few galaxies. Voids are found between filmental structures (and those include superclusters). You can't have filamental structures without empty spaces. I always ask my music students...can you have sound without silence?  What about audiation? I'd love to have a conversation with John Cage about his views on sound and silence and philosophize a bit. I'll bet that would be fabulous. I'd also like to have tea with Brian Greene - more fabulosity!

So, ENJOY the galaxy in your tea. GO ahead, drink it and now you yourself consist of multiple worlds. Have you ever had a close look at your eyes? You will sometimes find stars in them.....  :-)

Five Reasons We Live in a Multiverse - by Clara Moscowitz, one of my favorite Space.com writers http://www.space.com/18811-multiple-universes-5-theories.html

But wait, you say it's even worse, that there's a galaxy with multiple black holes in your tea?

How about you try drinking iced water....